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  “But what did happen?” I ask, my voice hoarse from crying.

  Mom hesitates, but then she tells me everything.

  Sylvia was murdered by Owen, Mom tells me with a shudder. She had come looking for us herself. She had read my diary, marking the passages about the dream of Lucy being underground, and in the margin next to it, in her careful cursive, Mom showed me where Sylvia had written Owen. Starrville Church of Christ.

  She must’ve known about him, somehow, and before she left Longview for Starrville she had written to the police, mailing them the letter with her suspicions about Owen.

  They received her letter Thursday afternoon, December 28th. The mail was delayed because of the holidays. Sheriff Greene and two officers went straight to Owen’s church to conduct a search. The church was closed up and deserted with a thick lock bolting the front door. They circled around to the cellar, prying off the lock, and that’s when they found her.

  A hard pit forms in my stomach and I sit there clutching my belly, rocking back and forth. Sylvia didn’t tell me about Owen, I realize, because she must’ve known how dangerous he was. I wonder how she knew him, and the same longing to see her, to hug her neck, overcomes me.

  “We have to go visit her grave,” I say.

  “Of course.” Mom nods. “We can go this afternoon, if you like.”

  Lucy is in the den, curled into a ball on the couch, napping with her head in Dad’s lap while he reads a book. Her cheeks are rosy, her hair sweaty, and her thumb is plugged into her mouth, an old habit she’s resumed since coming home.

  Mom and I wave goodbye to Dad and step outside. The snow has begun to melt. Jagged pieces of frost-bitten grass slice their way through the perfect white crust.

  We drive across town to a small white church that I’ve always passed by but never stepped foot in. We park the car and circle around the church, heading for the cemetery, which sits high on a grassy hill.

  I’m wearing my darkest Sunday School clothes with my black wool pea coat, dressed as if for a funeral, out of respect for Sylvia. Mom takes my hand and we cross the churchyard, and as we approach the cemetery, Mom pauses and lets me walk the rest of the way alone.

  The iron gate creaks as I open it and I walk along a row of graves toward Sylvia’s; it isn’t hard to spot, it’s the only one that still has a red dirt mound in front of it.

  Her tombstone is next to her husband’s matching one. Both are simple gray marble slabs bearing their names and time spent on earth. Her death date is freshly chiseled, December 25th, 1989.

  Even though it’s cold, the clouds part and warm sunlight cracks through, making me feel heated and almost dizzy.

  I kneel down and place a small bouquet of white irises next to her name, and hot tears pour out and puddle on the marble as I quietly give thanks to the woman who saved us.

  Acknowledgments

  Big Woods would not exist without the crucial encouragement of the following women in my life, my best friends: first, my mother, Liz Hinkle, who not only gave me this story, but the support (both financially and mentally) with which to write it. Thank you for housing us, feeding us, and pushing me each day to finish the first draft. You’ve been my biggest cheerleader and inspiration since day one.

  To my first responders and readers, Beth Matlock and Amy Thompson. You both read this book as it was being written and I thank my lucky stars for that. Beth, my big sister and guide in life, thank you for all of your critical edits and for seeing and believing in this novel when I wanted to give up. Also, thanks for the timely trip to Big Woods with Leigh! Here’s to more starry nights at Terramar Beach. Amy, my b/f/f/e/a/e/a, how can I adequately thank you? Your razor-sharp feedback is what transformed Big Woods from a family drama into a thriller. Thank you for insisting—constantly—that I make it spookier and for reading it over and over at the drop of a hat. It’s as much yours as it is mine. And thanks for creating the series with me—fingers crossed! You’re the best b/f/f ever!

  Susie, my little sister and heroine, thank you for being the brilliant and stunning badass that you are—I borrowed all of Lucy’s moves from you. I couldn’t have written the book, or her character, without you. You’re always, always there for me, in the biggest of ways, and I finally get to put it in print and settle the score once and for all: “I love you more.”

  Big thanks to my amazing friend, Carmen Costello, who insisted twenty years ago that I was a writer and kept after me until I began to believe it myself. And for showing me, by example, how to live the artist’s life. (And for that creepy drive down Omen Road!)

  I’m a lucky writer in that I not only got to befriend one of my favorite novelists of all time—the incomparable Amanda Eyre Ward—I got to study under her as well. Though I took Amanda’s yearlong novel/memoir class in order to finish my nonfiction project, Big Woods was born instead. Thanks, Amanda, for your fierce belief in this novel, your brilliant notes, and for making the ending so much better.

  Much love and gratitude to my father, Charles Cobb, whose endless support has kept me buoyed over the years. Thanks, also, Dad, for the suggestion that I write a thriller. I love you! And special thanks to Joni for all the love (and the macaroons!).

  Many thanks for my wonderful agents, Ellen Levine and Alexa Stark, for plucking Big Woods out of the slush pile and taking a chance on me. Your incisive notes help shape the novel and I appreciated your calm fearlessness during the submission process.

  I’m endlessly grateful to my fabulously supportive editor, Terri Bischoff, who is both warm and brilliant. Thank you so much for saying yes. And many thanks to the stellar Midnight Ink team, especially Jake Ryan-Kent, Nicole Nugent, Anna Levine, and also to my rock star publicists Dana Kaye and Samantha Lien.

  A special thanks to the rest of my wonderful family, especially Uncle Buddy who was an early reader. Much love and thanks to Paul Matlock, my brother-in-law, and my darling nephews, Xavier and Logan whom I love dearly.

  Enormous thanks to my husband’s incredible family, especially Larry and Martha Lutringer (Mimi, your prayers are working!) for the wonderful support and love. A massive thanks to Jake Scherrer for having our backs in such a huge way. Always.

  Infinite gratitude to Dorthaan Kirk whose friendship and guidance I could not live without. Thank you, Nana, for supporting me all these years and for keeping the faith. You are my forever role model! BRIGHT MOMENTS! Thanks also to my Houston family, Charlotte and Shan Williams and family also to my New Jersey family, April and Yolie Harper, Iris Mitchell and all the Grands! And I’m greatly indebted to Rahsaan Roland Kirk, my forever muse.

  Thanks to my longtime friend, Jessica Powell, for reading Big Woods early on and giving me such helpful notes. And for thirty years of friendship! My wonderful friend, Kim Downey, also read the novel early on and encouraged me, and is always there for me. Love you lady and much love to Chris and Elliot Downey. One of my oldest friends, Shannon Crawford, was also an early reader and I can’t thank you enough for all the love always. (And for placing that book in my hands on my 16th birthday).

  Big thanks to my extended family, Tommy and Sheryl Thompson, who make everything way more fun! Love you guys. Huge thanks to Rex and Delena Richardson for years of love—Mama D, you’re the sweetest person I know and your unconditional love means the world.

  To the wonderful Keegan Boos (love you Butzi!), and to Slade Barnett, for years of encouragement and being my writing partner in crime. To Trevor and Noah—love you guys so much.

  Other amazing friends that have helped me enormously: Carole Geffen (you’re the best, C.J., for too many reasons to list here), Jackie Reynolds, Lauren Cammack, Lori Danielson, Betty Neals, David Ward (little soul brother!), Bo and Laura Elder, David Hess, Mark Braun and McCombs, Bob and Shirley Drinkwater, Adam and Colette Dorn, Leigh Schlett, Stanley Smith, Robb Bindler, Kellie Davis, and Karin Shelton. Special thanks to Ron Shelton and Lolita Davidovich for countless sup
port, for nurturing me, and for naming me Maybird. And big love and thanks to Dave and Joyce Dormady for years of warm friendship and support—(thanks, Joyce, for reading Big Woods and cheering me on). To Tanda Tashjian, the first person I shared this idea with, thanks for telling me to write it.

  I’m deeply grateful to Henry and Patricia Tippie, for their generous support. And I owe a big thanks to George and Fran Ramsey for their selfless and generous support during the writing of this novel.

  Massive thanks to Dan Mallory for being so generous with me and for the incredibly kind and life-changing quote. Also, many thanks to the wonderful Anna Hogarty.

  Special shout-out to Luis Alberto Urrea who saved my writing life many years ago and to my Cabin 20 mates—gems all of you—Kathryn Kopple, Roxanne Pilat, Eag and Charles Redner—and especially Ed “El Po” Chacon-Lontin, and Cathy “Fast Horse” Safiran. Thank you Cathy, for being such a huge inspiration with your rich writing, and for giving voice to Sylvia. Also, for your early read of Big Woods and your unending faith in it. Huge thanks to El Po for always being there, for showing me, by example, how both to write and to row. You helped unlock my voice and your friendship has been a beacon in both dark and light times. I can only hope to write as well as both of you one day.

  Special thanks to my dear friend, Tracy Strauss—birthday twin and writing sister—for encouraging me to enter this novel into a contest and for years of friendship. Your writing is an inspiration to me. Many thanks to Stacia Campbell, for countless texts and conversations that made my life and writing life so much richer.

  Many thanks to Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry for selecting the pitch to Big Woods as the winner for the 2016 NaNoWrimo. For the past seven years, I’ve leaned on you so many times, Arielle, and am eternally grateful for your guidance and support.

  To the wonderful writing community in Austin, especially Suzy Spencer, my dear friend and mentor, and endless supporter, I couldn’t do it without you. Also, big thanks to Owen Egerton, Marit Weisenberg, and the Writer’s League of Texas. Thanks to Katie Guiterrez for enthusiastically reading Big Woods and giving me incredible notes—and hours of your time and friendship!

  Thanks to the entire Zhang family, for keeping me and my family feeling great, and a special thanks to my dear friend, Li Zhang for our treasured friendship.

  Huge thanks also to Johnny’s team, especially Kristen, Kayla, Sam, Annabelle, Dominique, Dani, and Erin.

  And finally, the biggest thanks of all goes to my lovely husband, Chuck Scherrer. Your unwavering belief in me is both astounding and most likely undeserved. But I’ll take it. Thank you for chopping the wood and carrying the water and making every day a celebration with your incredible, beautiful personality. I love you madly. And to Johnny, our sunshine boy, whose smile lights up the galaxy—I’m so proud of you and your daddy and I love you more than all of the stars in the sky.

  About the Author

  May Cobb is a freelance writer who won the 2015 Writer’s League of Texas Manuscript Contest. Her writing has appeared in Austin Monthly and the online edition of JazzTimes. Big Woods is her debut novel.